Israa Nasir, Author at ciaooo!

I spent almost 90 days, from March to May this year, in my New York City apartment. By myself.

Yup. At the peak of the pandemic, in the epicenter of the country.

There were many positive things that I was able to do, like have the time to journal and clean out all my closets and become a slow-cooking, Dutch-oven goddess. However, there were some really hard days. This was a completely unique and foriegn experience, not just for me, but for all of us. The emotional stress of living through a global pandemic is immense. I’m a psychotherapist myself, and have worked in mental health for almost 8 years, so I reached into my therapist-toolbox and tried each and every anxiety management, mindfulness, and self-care strategy I knew. Some of them worked, and some of them didn’t, but taking care of my mental health was one of my biggest priorities.

Ever heard the phrase, “put your oxygen mask on first, then help others”?

We hear this phrase over and over in airplanes while traveling (remember that?). It has been a long and wild six months, remarkable and unremarkable at the same time. The pandemic has changed everything, and we’re still coping with the uncertainty. It’s no surprise that stress and burnout levels are really high. For many of us, our oxygen tanks are low. We need to put on our masks before we can be there for anyone else. So, if you’ve been struggling lately and are in need of some self-TLC, you’re at the right place.

Self-care is probably the second most overused term during this pandemic (the first being ‘unprecedented’), and it is also deeply misunderstood.

Self-care can be any activity that improves and strengthens your emotional wellness and it looks different for everyone. It doesn’t have to be a $60 manicure (only to increase your credit card debt) and shouldn’t be something you don’t enjoy. Just because someone else’s self-care activity is reading, if you hate reading, don’t add it to your self-care list! Self-care is intentionally choosing to take care of your mental, emotional, and physical wellness.

Self-care checklist:

Nourish your body
1. Make sure you eat well – keep healthy snacks handy, meal prep ahead of the week so you don’t overuse the Seamless app.
2. Three magic words: drink more water.
3. Try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, even if you’re WFH .
4. Get daily movement, whether it’s a run around the block, a brisk walk in the park, or an app-based workout at home.
Create me-time:
1. Start a creative hobby, or do something you used to love doing as a child – puzzles, coloring books, paint-by-numbers. Have you always wanted to learn to knit? Pick up some needles and yarn and give it a go!
2. Adopt a gratitude practice, like listing three things you’re grateful for every morning when you wake up.
3. Build some grounding rituals and practices that help recharge you such as doing the daily crossword every morning, having a cup of tea in the afternoon at the same time each day, or reading for the last thirty minutes before going to sleep.
Do a daily check-in with yourself. Acknowledge your daily emotions, so that you can be more aware and connected to your internal emotional state.
Set boundaries. One of the most radical acts of self-care is setting boundaries. Setting boundaries in relationships or work is difficult but saying no to things that add stress in your life, means saying yes to yourself and your wellness.
Take a mindfulness break. Take a few minutes to meditate, engage in prayer, do some breath-work, or journal. Any activity that brings your awareness to the present and gives you pause.

Some benefits of self-care include:

Being more present: taking the time to recharge allows you to show up in your relationships wholly. It allows you to bring your whole self to an interaction because your emotional wellness is balanced.
Preventing burnout: taking on too much, being busy or occupied all the time with multiple commitments depletes you of emotional energy. This can cause burnout, which is the feeling of emotional exhaustion. Left unmanaged, it can become depression or anxiety. Engaging in regular, healthy self-care helps prevent and combat burnout.

Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver to someone who is ill, or the only person on the team who knows how to use Tableau — you have to take the time to recharge yourself. Remember-prioritizing self-care is not selfish. Give your mental and emotional wellness the same consideration that you give your physical wellness. If you break your arm, you’d take care of it first, before helping others or trying to go through your to-do list. Think about it in this way, when you take care of yourself, you are better able to take care of others around you. In that way, self-care is community care. When we all prioritize our emotional wellness through self-care, we all have the emotional resources and capacity to help each other.

My (secret) pro-tip:

The New York Times has a free, weekly wellness newsletter you can sign up for to receive weekly wellness tips and information! Sometimes they do really fun self-care and wellness challenges too!

They also have a great column called The Well which has an entire section on mental wellness called Mind. You can access many free articles and guides, like healthy habits, how to meditate, and stress management.

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Holidays are a great time to connect with friends and family, however, stress during the holidays is real! This year with a pandemic raging on, there’s more stress during the holiday season than ever before.

Here’s some more resources from our Corona series:

Maybe this is your first time being alone during a holiday, because you can’t travel to be with loved ones; it’s a really unique and challenging time (take it from me, I spent both Eid holidays on my own this year). Maybe you are with your family or loved ones for the holidays, but looming shut-downs and quarantine can add extra layers of stress within a family unit or between partners. Whatever your circumstance is, here are a few things to help you manage your emotional wellness during this time.

Traditions: Rituals and family traditions help make us feel connected to each other. They also give us something to look forward to, something that we know will give us joy. So, even if you are apart from family – try to keep up with family traditions. If you always wear a new pajama set for a family breakfast on Christmas Day, do that over Zoom or Skype (make sure to wear the pyjamas!). This is also a great time to start new traditions with yourself. If you’re alone, think of something new you want to add to your Christmas holiday tradition – whether it’s going to visit the Christmas tree in your city, writing a letter to yourself, or making a holiday-themed meal and drink.
Find rituals of joy: Make time to find a few things to do that you do purely for the sake of joy, something you can get lost in. Things like puzzles, crosswords, or adult colouring pages are great for this! Think of the things that you used to love doing as a child, and then do them!
Connect with loved ones through technology: Streaming platforms now allow for multiple people to watch the same thing together, but virtually, like Netflix Party or Amazon Prime Watch Party. Watch holiday movies with friends and family. AirBnb also offers a ton of fun virtual experiences you can go to as groups, such as virtual cocktail making or pottery (you can have the pottery kit for two sent to you by mail). Host a virtual game night with friends, and play conversational games like “we’re not really strangers”.

It’s okay if you don’t feel happy and joyful the whole time.

Stress During the Holidays is real, so make sure to start with yourself

If you are able to be with family or chosen family, you may still need a stress management plan. Even though we may love our families, the holidays + the pandemic may amp up stress levels for everyone. Try these strategies to minimize any conflicts.

Keep up with self-care: Continue to do things that ground you and make you feel better. Make sure to protect time for your self-care activities at least once a day.
Maintain boundaries: It is really important to communicate boundaries with family. This is challenging, so familiarize yourself with some strategies (such as using “I” Statements), and then adjust them to fit your family’s style. You can set boundaries on a number of topics, how much time you spend together, discussions around relationship status or politics, body image and food habits, and lifestyle choices. Help your family see that maintaining healthy boundaries are helpful for everyone! This applies to you as well, respect other people’s boundaries. If you know of trigger-topics for a sibling or parent, try to avoid bringing it up.
Spend quality time: This has been an exceptionally challenging year, and the thing we’ve learned the most is that we need each other. We need our communities. Stress during the holidays culminates in ways we don’t even realize, so try to plan activities that don’t include watching TV, and instead try to deepen your connection to others. This can include looking at old photos and videos, nostalgia creates emotional tenderness. Get curious about each other, learn more about your parents or grandparents. Have a story circle and talk about your reflections on the year: What was your best moment? What was your lowest moment? What’s something you learned about yourself this year? What are you most grateful for this year? Holidays are a great time to play fun games with each other as well!

The science is out there, too much time on social media has an impact on our mood.

Generally:

Financial boundaries: Maintain a budget around gifts. Gifts are not inherently part of the holiday season, they are meant to be an expression of love. So, if you’re tight on cash or want to stay within budget, do handmade cards or gifts that you can make. You could also do a Secret Snowflake/Secret Santa with your family and friends.
Social media boundaries: Since we’ve been home-bound, we are all spending more time scrolling on social media. The science is out there, too much time on social media has an impact on our mood. Try to maintain a healthy daily limit on how much time you spend on socials. Also, if you feel triggered and start to compare your holiday plan with others, definitely sign-off. Social comparisons impact our emotional health and are really easy to slip into. If you find yourself in that mind space, take out a piece of paper or the notes app on your phone and list out all the good things in your life that you love (big and small).
Accept how you feel: It’s okay if you don’t feel happy and joyful the whole time. We put a lot of pressure on holidays, thinking it will look and feel like a Hallmark movie. However, this has been a wild year, so be open to all your feelings. Know that you can hold more than one feeling at the same time, you can be happy and grateful for your health AND sad about being away from your family at the same time. It’s okay if you feel angry on some days about COVID, and content and happy the other days about being with your loved ones. Try not to morally judge how you feel, there are no “good” and “bad” feelings. Always remember: feelings are temporary and feelings are not facts. Acknowledge the difficult emotions, sit with them for a little bit, and then move on with your day.
Keep a routine: You may be off work for a few days, or not working at all. It is really important to keep a routine during your days, even if it’s a flexible one. Some important daily milestones are:
- Sleeping and waking up around the same time each day
- Making sure to eat healthy and nutritious food around the same time and staying hydrated
- Getting at least 10 minutes of movement each day

Always remember: feelings are temporary and feelings are not facts. Acknowledge the difficult emotions, sit with them for a little bit, and then move on with your day.

No matter where or how you spend the holiday, remember that the holiday is just one part of the year, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Go into this holiday season with an open mind and a desire to feel more connected to yourself and the people in your life. After all, those are the things that matter the most, this year and every year!

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At the end of an already chaotic year, the upcoming election and its consequences is stressing people out. As a therapist, I’ve noticed a marked tension in the air. We are anticipating our anxiety, anger, and grief – this is causing symptoms of anxiety, burnout, and stress.

As a Canadian living in the United States, I’m watching the election happen around me and I’m acutely aware of what is at stake here. If you’re like me, you’re probably feeling low-level dread and worry with moments of cautious optimism throughout the day. Just know that you are not alone in this. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), more than two-thirds of adults in the US (that’s 68%!!) are experiencing increased stress levels due to the upcoming election, regardless of political affiliation, compared to 52% during the 2016 election.

Here are a few tried and tested strategies to build out your emotional fitness plan for the days leading up to the election, as well as immediately after.

Step 1: Acute Anxiety Management

Intense emotions may come up, especially if you are directly impacted by the consequence of this election in a concrete way.

Practice bringing awareness to the present moment. This doesn’t only mean meditation; think of activities you used to love as a child, such as coloring, puzzles, dancing, anything you can get lost in.
Limit how much time you spend on social media and engage in political conversations. You don’t have to be tuned-in 24/7, you don’t have to be available for every discussion and debate with friends or family, you don’t have to read every article. You know what your limits are, you’ll notice it in your body when you start scrolling or watching the news.
Move your body. This doesn’t mean only exercise, but try to get some movement for your body daily. Dance, a walk in the park, yoga, or anything to get your blood circulating.

Step 2: Taking Action

Getting involved in anything related to the election will help you feel more connected and give you a sense of empowerment.

See if there are people in your family, social circle, or neighborhood who may need help getting to vote: ask the older neighbour your building if they need support, offer childcare for a friend or go with them if possible, think of ways you can facilitate making voting day easier for others.
Volunteer with local organizations that are doing work for the candidate you support – like getting involved with a telephone or text bank to encourage others to vote.
If voting at the polls, make a voting plan for you and your family to make sure you’re prepared.

Step 3: Coping with the Outcome

There is a chance that there may be a delay in election results, especially because of an increase in mail-in ballots due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. Though not for certain, it is a possibility. Have an anxiety-management plan for the week right after the election. Involve your friends and family in that plan: organize dinner, game night, or other activities so that you will be around people you trust and care about.
Get involved in local politics throughout the year by supporting local politicians, community organizations, and legislature in between the presidential elections. Change is still possible between presidential election years.
Use creative expressive arts to process your emotions. This can be expressive writing, adult coloring, writing a letter to your inner-child, or storytelling, among many other things.
If the results of the election are too distressing for you to process on your own, reach out to a professional (a therapist or a coach) who can help you process your emotions and make meaning of the outcome.

This is a very difficult time for many people, so remember it is completely normal to feel anxious about what could happen. Worrying about something that could happen in the future doesn’t change the outcome of what will happen, but you can use this as a signal to be better prepared for the future.

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