July 2019 - Page 2 of 3 - ciaooo!

It’s rooftop season, babbyyy!!

The sun has blessed us with its steamy return, and there is no better way to bask in the summertime NYC heat than to jump on a rooftop. With so many articles and rooftops to choose from, here are a few of our tried and true favorites to enjoy the sun (sans the insane touristy, fratty crowds). Dawn your romp-hims and sun hats, we have your back for the best rooftops in town.

Photo Credit: Noah Fecks
Drink

You Don’t Need to Be Good To Visit Good Behavior

Anyone else in the mood for a jungle vibe and the Empire State Building? On the 18th floor of the Made Hotel, Good Behavior offers a panoramic view of Manhattan. And get this! Happy hour Monday – Friday, 5pm to 7pm! If you’re on the chill side of things, get there before 11pm. The DJ starts pumpin’ jams after that. While you’re there, try my personal favorite drink, Sweat and Glitter!

Photo Credit: Tolga Dogan
Drink

Make Believe

If you’re in the mood for a Zombie and views, hit up Make Believe. The only rooftop tiki bar on the LES. You’ll find your heart’s desires on the 7th floor of 60 LES. Catch some views of Houston and Allen on the astro turf. This bar is so undervalued despite being nearly four years old. With its lush couches, it always seems to have space for a big group of friends even past 9pm. I love popping in for a lo-fi DJ break in between happy hour and dance team.

Photo Credit: HGU Rooftop
Drink

HGU Rooftop Bar

This Secret Gem is hidden right off 33rd st, at the top floor of HGU hotel. Once you take the elevator up, you’ll find yourself in the middle of a mellow wooden patio. Unlike most rooftops, the music is kept at a moderate level which makes it perfect for intimate one on ones. Though it’s small, HGU packs a punch. It’s barely crowded, and offers daily specials— my favourite Montauk Mondays. Any Montauk beer for only five bucks!

Photo Credit: Haven Rooftop
Drink

Haven Rooftop

Haven is the oasis of Times Square. At the top of Sanctuary Hotel, you’ll find a lush outdoor garden decorated with plush red seats. You’ll find $10 Margaritas and $6 dollar beers if you should up during happy hour. Don’t dawdle at the office, it only runs from 4-6 pm. If you’re too slow, come back on Sundays for their bottomless brunch special. Haven is an all year round rooftop! Keep it in your back pocket when you want to show off your winter rooftop game. (Don’t worry they have heat lamps)

Photo Credit: Noah Fecks
Drink

Westlight

Located inside The William Vale on the 22nd floor. Set your eyes on the Manhattan sunset and then stay afterward for a bit of a jiggy on the dance floor. Do eat before coming — the food menu is tiny and uninspired. If you want to save yourself some time, call ahead for a rezzy. You’ll feel like a VIP as you skip past the queue!

Photo Credit: Liz Clayman / Free Williamsburg
Drink

The Water Tower at the Williamsburg Hotel

Missed out on Night Heron– The water tower speakeasy for two? Don’t worryWater Tower is fits more than two (and has better cocktails!) Located on the 18th floors of the Williamsburg Hotel, you can catch part of the Brooklyn skyline with a kitschy late 60’s feel. Best to make a rezzy, the joint it pretty small. You can try your hand at walking in, but best not to do during peak times.

Photo Credit: Noah Fecks
Drink

Gallow Green

We promise you there is more to Gallow Green than Sleep No More. You can climb up McKittrick’s Hotel’s steps straight to Gallow Green. The rooftop is covered in green and a large amount of seating, perfect for the whole gang. If you plan well enough, you might be able to catch one of their free jazz sessions.

Tessie Viola

Tessie Viola is a native New Yorker from Queens. When she's not writing for ciaooo!, she can be caught eating dirty water dogs near Lincoln Center.

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This week’s Thirsty Thursday consists of Red Hook IPAs, peanut pretzel bites and the only dive bar in the West Village.
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I told myself I wouldn’t date musicians anymore…but my OKC is so biased towards them. When L, a freelance guitarist, opens the conversation with, “What’s your favorite Bill Evans piece and who is the best Star Trek captain?”,

It’s my honey pot.

We exchange numbers and plan to meet at Kettle of Fish, apparently, the only dive bar in the WV. I walk in and secure two barside seats.

The bar is an instant turn off.

I’m not anti-dive, but this is a bit much.

It gets even more annoying when the bartender asks what year I was born, then doesn’t even remember my damn order.

Sorry— but what under 21 year old is ordering a Gin and soda?

Ten minutes after 6, L shows up, his huge guitar case in tow. “Hey! Sorry, I’m late. My lesson dragged a bit.”

The conversation is fine; he has a surprising amount of knowledge on my profile. I noticed him checking out my Instagram feed all week. Oddly, I find it more impressive than creepy. Our conversation quickly turns to politics: local to state to national.

“Did you ever feel the Bern?”

I haven’t heard that expression in so long it’s like he just asked me if I’ve ever had an STD.

“OH. No, I’ve been a Hillary fan since 2008.”

He hesitates and eventually agrees that he also voted Clinton. I’m unconvinced but don’t pursue. I understand the HC reluctance.

He moves on to Donald Trump. “When 45th was elected, I fell into a deep state of cynicism.”

I internally cringe.

Somehow, he connects America’s current situation to the Russian invasion of Poland.

It goes on forever, and I’m half-listening. I’m grateful when the bartender rolls our way. I switch to beer for the rest of the night.

At one point, we start talking about blues music, one of my most hated genres. He talks about his white guilt and how it ties into blues, his apartment in Greenpoint and overall cultural appropriation.

I stifle a laugh when he race drops his Hispanic grandparents, three times in two sentences. We move to a couch in the back of the bar, and I’ve lost track of my pints.

“I’m going to lay something heavy on you now…,”

Dramatic pause,

“I recently started seeing a therapist.”

This time I do laugh, “Yeah. Welcome to New York.”

He continues, “He’s been really helpful. I’ve just always had low self-confidence; growing up, teen years, now. Have you ever felt that way?”

“Mmmmmm,” I let out in a high pitch whine. “No.”

“Oh.”

We spend the rest of the date discussing his inadequacies as a single person and musician. I sympathize with him, glad my ego is way-way-way bigger than it deserves to be.

It’s late, I’m not getting paid for this counseling session, and I’m contemplating meeting this other guy that’s blowing up my phone. I walk him to the train, and he starts to slow down. I continue my stride and shout goodbye from up the block.

“Yeah…maybe I can see you again?”

“BYE. GET HOME SAFE BRUV!!”

I grab a slice of pizza, head for the train and check out the prospects for next week’s date.

Encounter rating: 5.2/10

Lessons learned:

  • All musicians have issues.
  • Red Hook IPA is pretty good.
  • Dive bar in the West Village.

team ciaooo

ciaooo! is an NYC based editorial site, newsletter, and events company. We're the local's guide to conquering NYC. Follow us on Instagram @ciaooomag for the latest. Nice to see you here!

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Chelaka Gunamuni, aka Chaz, is the 33 year old chef/owner of Kottu House, a Sri Lankan micro – bites restaurant that has been top-ranked by the NY Times and Zagat. For the past four years, the tiny, 10 seat restaurant has made a name for itself on the Lower East Side, whose reputation as a flourishing spot for hip, tatted restaurateurs has revolutionized the culinary world. But this October, the beloved restaurant will be shutting its doors for good.

EDITOR’S NOTE: We regretfully announce that Kottu House decided to close its doors.

There’s this one dish called the Kottu.

It’s like a Sri Lankan pad thai with shredded Indian flatbread, or “Roti”, in place of noodles and vegetables, eggs, and spices stir- fried into crispy, brown perfection. The dish is equal parts hangover cure and flavor explosion on your tongue. If one were adventurous, one could even ask for it to be extra spicy, with the chef dousing it in a fiery sauce that rivals the hottest pepper you can think of.

I can confirm, the tier 4 tongue burn is well worth the flavor.

Born in Sri Lanka, raised in Milan and Staten Island, 33-year-old chef/owner and self-proclaimed “mad scientist” Chelaka “Chaz” Gunamuni wanted to create a space that meshed the eclectic foods of his home country with the dynamic upbringing that made up his identity. This dichotomy is reflected in his shop where a wall of black and white family portraits from Sri Lanka and Milan (featuring his cousin, co-investor, and co-founder of Venmo Iqram Magdon-Ismael) is accompanied by a pulsating neon Kottu House logo projected on top of the menu.

But in October of this year, Chaz will shut down Kottu House in the US and attempt to move his concept abroad to London where he will reunite with his wife and two daughters for the first time in 10 months. Despite having lived in NYC since he was 12 years old, Chaz is a DREAMer.

When his family first settled down in the US in 2001, the processing of his paperwork to become a citizen was put on hiatus after the attacks of September 11th. He overstayed his visa as a teenager and, for 12 years, he has been treading water in political limbo as an illegal alien in the United States.

Working in the food industry is one of the few options for work for many DREAMers. Eventually, Chaz’s work at other restaurants allowed him to save up enough money to start his own restaurant, and, thus, Kottu House was born.

Coming from a family of restauranteurs (his aunt owns a Sri Lankan restaurant, Sigiri, in the East Village), that specialize in traditional, family style Sri Lankan food, his family balked at the concept of opening a restaurant that sold only street food like Lamprais, Kottu, and beef rolls (almost like a deep fried egg roll).

God’s gift to earth – The Beef Roll

Despite their biggest fears, the place that has become a Lower East Side institution. The blend of affordable, addictive bites and beer has garnered Chaz recognition on sites from GrubStreet to the NY Times. Kottu House has become so beloved that his parents even joined in.

Sri Lankan food is not new to New York City by any means. In the 1960s, after the Sri Lankan Civil War, over 800 Sri Lankans immigrated to the US and landed in one of America’s greatest boroughs, Staten Island. Today, New York City has the largest population of Sri Lankans outside of the country with a whopping 5,000 in the US.

While the future of DREAMers, like Chaz, is uncertain for thousands of New Yorkers, Chaz has his sights set on creating an alternate version of Kottu House in London.

In the meantime, head over to Kottu House to support Chaz and try some of New York’s best Sri Lankan bites before it’s gone.

Chau Mui

Chau is the original New York City stoop kid who cut her teeth hanging out in Union Square, ate soup dumplings in Chinatown and explored this great city by train, foot and everything in between.

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City of Swipes is our anonymous dating diary of a twenty-something female meeting New York City’s most (in)eligible bachelors. Our writer goes on a date every Thursday in an attempt to find the ONE. All men will be kept anonymous unless otherwise stated.

We meet down the street from my apartment at this intense Japanese cocktail bar, RAKU.

He was a bit chatty throughout the week via text. Not my favorite but it’s more effort than most, highly appreciated. When I get home after work, it kills me to think I’ll have to leave in 3 hours. I split a bottle of wine with my roommate and head out the door 5 minutes before my date.

He shows up in a faded plaid button-down, which for some reason, I find offensive.

I’m in a chiller version of my usual date outfit. Slouchy black tee and high waisted leggings, always, all black. I swap my usual boots for TOMS and dress it up with dangling, gold, chandelier earrings. The restaurant is tiny and packed. There’s one seat left at the bar, next to a nervous-looking dude. I take the cue and slide in.

“Hey. What’s good?”

J is not outwardly attractive, but he works on a TV show I really like and used that as his opening line. He proceeds to fill 70% of our conversation about Judaism. It’s weird, intense, and unnecessary. He’s obsessed with his identity of being Jewish. At one point he says, “I’m not taking this date seriously.”

Yeah. Really. No shit, Sherlock.

“I’m not taking it seriously because you’re not Jewish. We can fool around but I wouldn’t date you because you’re not a Jew.”

“Bit intense, yeah?” I deadpan back. I wish I had just opted for a Gin and Soda, I love cocktails like the next girl, but this sippin’ shit isn’t my style.

We split the bill despite his constant bragging about having a wealthy childhood and talks of still living on his bar mitzvah cash.

When am I ever going to get my bill paid?

He invites me over and I say sure.

  • 20% Curiosity about his apartment.
  • 30% Blog material.
  • 50% I really, really want a backstage tour on this TV set.

He lives in a housing complex, probably a housing lottery winner. The building reminds me of the prison tour I went on last year.

He lives in a housing complex, probably a housing lottery winner. The building reminds me of the prison tour I went on last year. Once we get to his house, he proceeds to make out with me. It’s awful and teethy. He’s opening his mouth way too large.

We can’t have sex because I’m on my period. And I don’t want to either after feeling his erection. It’s kind of a sad penis. I have my first dry hump session since highschool. The whole thing is amusing. I spend the majority of the time thinking about the return of the Ameriboo.

He pleads for me to suck him off, but his dick is so sad looking. I love my lips too much to disrespect them. I compromise on a handjob and hock a loogy into my palm. I jerk him off until I get bored.

When I get up to leave and he asks, “You don’t wanna see me cum?”

I openly, “Hmmm.” shrug. “Well, I guess. Why not.”

He jerks off furiously in a weird genie position. The palms of his feet are pressed together, knees spread open.

It’s deeply unsettling. He cums on my shirt and surprisingly I don’t care. The entire night is already so stupid. He walks me to the door and I’m ecstatic about being able to walk home.

Encounter rating: 5.3/10

Lessons learned:

  • Different sects of Judaism.
  • I was never a bad kisser.
  • I give great handjobs.

App: OKC

team ciaooo

ciaooo! is an NYC based editorial site, newsletter, and events company. We're the local's guide to conquering NYC. Follow us on Instagram @ciaooomag for the latest. Nice to see you here!

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In New York comedy is all around us. Take a walk through the West Village and you’ll find street hawkers, sandwich boards and bars all hawking one thing, stand up. With so many options, how are we ever to distinguish the good from the bad? We’re either left paying upwards of $80 a night on two drink minimums or left with some sub-par comedy in a dingy basement bar. That’s why comedians Sachin Shaan and Anish Mitra set out to create The Surprise Show: NYC’s best live comedy experience. 

Interesting. What’s The Surprise Show?

The Surprise Show is a comedy show for the no-frills New Yorker. Just great comedians, no two-drink specials, in a place you can take a date and still impress them. We call it a surprise, cause you’ll never know who to expect. We’ve had Jim Gaffigan, Judah Friedlander, Hasan Minhaj, Todd Barry and TJ Miller drop in.

From L to R: Sachin, Jim Gaffigan, Anish and Leah Bonnema

Who are Sachin Shaan and Anish Mitra?

Close your eyes and picture Batman and Bruce Wayne. Then picture two brown guys who are slightly worse looking than Christian Bale, significantly less rich and not famous (yet). That’s Sachin and Anish.  They channel Bruce Wayne inside corporations (where they work) but evoke Batman (when they drop punchlines instead of punches). Both of their parents immigrated from India and they’ve followed the traditional (South) Asian model minority game plan, that is, until becoming comedians.

Got it. So, how’d you guys even get started in comedy?  

Anish: In high school and college, I did a lot of debate, public speaking, and writing. I had this weird Indian guilt about not being in love with math or science and cheating on them with English and history. Fast forward a few years, I was banging my head against a keyboard on Wall Street and wondering how all of my humanity had been vacuumed out of my body and said: “Enough is enough”. I saw Sachin do a comedy show at The Stand (he killed) and realized comedy was something that was actually accessible and I told myself I needed to try before I died. Haven’t looked back since.

Over the last few years, I’ve been booked to headline at the North American Bengali Conference (my family is from Kolkata and we’re Bengalis), and this forced me to really learn more about the Indian cultural contributions we’ve made in cinema, poetry and the arts. I ultimately learned that I should let go of these bullshit stereotypes about all of us having to lust over equations and realized I was actually being true to my identity by pursuing a career in the arts.

Sachin: I get this question the most.  Almost everyone in my life has been pretty shocked since I was the opposite of the class clown: I was the class nerd.  I felt like most people laughed AT me, instead of with me.  But everything changed since the summer of 2013 when I registered for Rick Crom’s “beginner” workshop class at the world-famous Comedy Cellar.  If you don’t know who Rick Crom is, you should – he’s the comedy world’s journeyman and he was in last season’s “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”  I’ve also trained under Dustin Chafin who has trained many comics, perhaps most notably Pete Holmes (start of HBO’s “Crashing”).  So, yeah – I have a couple of comedy trainers: instead of making me do push-ups, they make me write better jokes.

So why bother creating a show? Why not continue to hustle in the clubs and streets?

The comedy scene in New York City is gritty and it’s near impossible to get quality stage time when you start out. To perform at a proper club, you normally have to do a “bringer” show, where a booker lets you do maybe six minutes of jokes after you bring, say, 10 people out on a Monday night at 6 p.m. (for $20 bucks each + drink minimums). We realized pretty quickly this wasn’t sustainable, especially when the shows themselves weren’t high quality — our friends deserved better if they were going to drop $60 on a Monday.

So we sidestepped this by creating our own show. The entire show is curated from start-to-finish and every performer is handpicked.  We do a mix of up-and-coming talent, very established comedians you would see at the Comedy Cellar (NYC’s #1 comedy club), and A-list comedians like Jim Gaffigan, TJ Miller, Hasan Minhaj, Todd Barry, and Judah Friedlander – all of whom have dropped into our show several times.  

Anish, TJ Miller & Sachin

We always end up with a lineup that is both gender and ethnically diverse.  PLUS, we love variety acts and always feature a non-comedy act (or two). We’ve had professional singers/musicians, mentalists and magicians, and even a juggler!  

We don’t like the 2-drink minimums and we try our hardest to avoid those types of venues.  And the show isn’t expensive – we charge the bare minimum of $10 or $20 to cover our production costs and pay our talent.  On the other hand, we’ve sold out every single The Surprise Show over the last 18 months so don’t wait!  

What’s it like being producers?  Is it really that hard to do this?

Sachin: It might look easy, but it’s not. We’re wearing multiple hats – remember we’re also performing in the show as either the host/MC or doing a set (it would be kind of lame if we weren’t in our OWN show).  I’m so glad I brought Anish on to help me because the show was just getting bigger and bigger. Anish literally went from being an enthusiastic audience member to starting stand-up and then he became both my co-producer and a super funny comic.

Anish: What he said. It’s like planning a wedding, except it happens every month. Ok, maybe not a wedding but like doing a rehearsal dinner on a monthly basis.

What’s it like a week before, the day before, a day of?

Sachin and Anish: We literally do everything for the production – ticketing, the sales/marketing/promotions, booking the talent, managing the talent, and way too many day-of things (our favorite is when our friends like to wait an hour before the show to ask us for tickets to a sold out show).  We’re lucky to have a small team that helps us with the fancy fliers, taping the show, and the great photos so we can feel cool on the ‘gram.   

What’s one of your favorite “war stories”? 

Anish: In January 2017, we had Jim Gaffigan drop by our Surprise Show, right after Judah Friedlander had already dropped by. After Jim finishes his set, I’m bringing him towards the exit, I look up and I lock eyes with human Bambi. “Hi, I’m Hasan,” he says. As in Hasan Minhaj.  I was desperately wishing I had actually gone to medical school because I knew we’d have some cases of cardiac arrest in the audience after putting him on stage (spoiler: we didn’t).

Anish, Hasan Minhaj and Sachin

Sachin: Last month, Jim Gaffigan dropped in and it was our first time hosting the production at Hotel Chantelle. He commented about how cool the room was, and that people want to experience comedy in a trendy place, not a dark basement like most comedy clubs. Jim is my favorite comedian on the planet so I still can’t believe that he’s dropped in so many times and supported us over the years.  I heart you, Jim, even if your 5 children sometimes may or may not.

Ok. Let’s say a friend’s in town, is craving comedy and missed the Surprise Show. Where do you send them to get their fix?

Sachin: I’m sounding like a broken record at this point, but the Comedy Cellar is the “cathedral” of comedy in NYC and there’s no better place.  I also really like Gotham Comedy Club in Chelsea.  But don’t be afraid to try the shows that are more off-the-beaten-path (that’s us!) and super fun.  For example, comedian Sheba Mason runs two weekly shows and they’re both always packed.  The Grisly Pear in the West Village, which was featured on HBO’s “Crashing,” has really stepped up its game and runs shows every night.  

Anish: My boy Eugene Chang runs a free, weekly show at Oppa Bar (as of this writing) in the West Village. The vibe is cool because it’s in a karaoke lounge and it’s always packed (the show was featured in the New York Comedy Festival this past year). If you want to find cool and affordable shows outside of Manhattan, check Eventbrite vs. Google. There are tons of shows for free or basically free ($5) with comics on the come up you won’t want to miss (along with folks that have credits, etc.)

Anish and Sachin with World Champ, Judah Friedlander

Does it help you get the ladies?

Anish: Honestly, unless you’re getting them anyway, no. Comedy is like fitness. If you’re hitting the gym non-stop and your arms are screaming out of your shirt and you look like you bleed Muscle Milk, chances are, you’ll mostly get attention from other dudes telling you things like “hey bro, I hit the gym too, wanna lift together?”. I don’t do it to find love, I do it because I love it. 

Sachin: No. This is a total myth. Excuse me, but I think I need to cry now. 

And where can people follow your journey?

Sachin: Instagram is the best for me – I’m @sachinshaan 

Anish: @mitranyc on Instagram. DM me your email, and we’ll put you on our list. Also on Facebook as Anish K. Mitra.

Chau Mui

Chau is the original New York City stoop kid who cut her teeth hanging out in Union Square, ate soup dumplings in Chinatown and explored this great city by train, foot and everything in between.

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