The first thing you are going to do is make a list of all of the things that made you happy this past year. These are your accomplishments.

While your accomplishments don’t have to be grandiose things like curing COVID-19 (thank you frontline workers and scientists), they could be as simple as giving a successful presentation at work via Zoom, applying for that higher up job even if you didn’t get it, donating to your favorite restaurant, getting on that trip with friends or family, working out consecutively for 4 days, hitting ten pull-ups or even, just making it to today, because hell, this has been a wild year. No matter how small it may seem, just list it.

I bet if you take more than five minutes to sit down with it, you’ll be surprised with what you came up with. Now, take a look at that list and try to break it down by category. How many of them are work-related? Relationship? Physical? Mental? Hobby? Family? Is there a particular category that you’d like to pursue more? Are you balanced more in one bucket than the other? Jot that down and put it aside.

How to Create Goals for 2023 AND Stick to Them

OK. Now, map out some realistic things you would like to accomplish next year.

Take whatever goal you have, and shrink it. Let’s take “I want to have a 6 pack by June 2023” as an example.

Smaller. I want to work out everyday for 100 days.

No, smaller. I want to work out for 30 days straight.

Smaller. I want to work out 7 days a week.

Let’s go smaller. I will work out for at least 20 minutes for 4 days this week.

Now, that’s looking good. Your goals should be mini-goals that you can actually attain easily starting today, for one week.

If you’ve been frustrated with yourself for not having been able to accomplish your goals, then start with accomplishing small goals.

Maybe you want to give up drinking for 30 days, start by doing 3 first. If you want to write a book, start by writing for 5 minutes 3 days in a row. Maybe you have no fricken idea what you want to do in life. Spend the day by yourself and you can use this trusty guide written by Gina Molfetta.

Here’s a little secret about goals. There’s no secret. You just have to stop making excuses and do it. No one wants to listen to you tell us about your idea for a Yacht Rock Cover Band. Let me rephrase that. No one wants to listen to you tell us about your idea for a Yacht Rock Cover Band and never do it. Even 1 % of progress is progress!

Here’s a little secret about goals. There’s no secret.

Some people might fault you for trying, but more often than not, your friends and family want to see you succeed. If they don’t, that’s ok. You’ll find people who will. But you owe it to yourself to actually deliver on the things that YOU want to do, regardless of financial, societal, or quite frankly, realistic obstacles.

There is no worse feeling than five years (or December 2023) later and sitting with that nagging feeling always wondering “what if”? Or worse, when someone ELSE does the thing that you always wanted to do, and knowing, you could have done it too.

You have to think of dedication and accomplishing goals like a muscle. Most successful people aren’t simply born with the ability to wake up at 6 AM and run for 5 miles…they train themselves to do it so that even when they don’t want to do it, because of muscle memory. You literally have to brainwash yourself.

If you want to be successful with accomplishing large goals, you need little spurts of accomplishment from the little goals to run the marathon. It’s the compound effect.

You have to think of dedication and accomplishing goals like a muscle. Most successful people aren’t simply born with the ability to wake up at 6 AM and run for 5 miles...

So – now that that reality check is in, how can you make that goal actually come to fruition? If it’s a large goal that you’re trying to attain by June 2023, break it down. What do you need to do in order to accomplish that?

Knowledge is Power

If you’re not sure how then ask someone who does.

If you don’t know anyone, go online. There are forums and articles. There are friends who have friends. Coworkers who have networks. Linkedin and internet strangers that you can email 100x over. It’s that simple. Goals can appear to be lofty and arduous, but if you sit and break it down into manageable chunks…sometimes the thinking is the worst part. If you have a long term goal that is hard to keep up, see if you can find someone to hold you accountable. If you have a friend who is consistent about going to the gym, see if you can piggyback off their good habits.

Put Those Goals to Paper!

We’ll also accept forms of fully written out goals and ideas on Notes or whatever modern forms of start-up tech that you’re using, but make sure it’s DETAILED. It can’t be like “I just want to be out of debt”. It should be, “I want to pay off $500 every month for 3 months”. If it’s, “I want to become a successful graphic designer”, it should be “I want to add 4 mock brand projects to my portfolio and apply to x amounts of advertising agencies”. If it’s that you want to be a drummer, then practice banging with two sticks on a rock (See Freaks and Geeks reference below). Whatever it is, write it down.

Some people say putting ideas to paper can sound like an activity for members of Oprah’s Book Club BUT we say, putting it to paper means you’re actually spending time on the goal.

You’re spending time problem solving, focusing on how to make it a reality. It’s like fixing a car or figuring out a rock wall or puzzle – you have to spend time thinking about it.

While you might not need to dedicate the Malcolm Gladwellian 10,000 hour average of becoming an expert to every goal, it would make sense that you’d have to dedicate more than a fleeting moment here and there.

So Now You’ve Got Your List, Think Big Picture to Set Your Goals for 2023

Real quick on the goals for 2023. Sure, losing 10 lbs or having an extra $1000 in your bank account is great, but I want you to think about one thing, which is…are these goals bringing you closer to the person that you would like to become?

We often think about what we want to accomplish in metrics, but it’s not always guided by the TYPE of person we want to be.

According to America’s OG hipster philosopher, Henry David Thoreau, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”. Much of the strife that we feel as humans is not because we didn’t get that perfect job, but because of misplaced value. We equate our success as human beings to C level suite jobs, Instagram perfect relationships, and the newest crop of iPhones.

We live our lives based so much on how society tells us to live, that we’ve inadvertently buried our own selves, that we no longer know who we are, or who we want to be, and worse how to find out.

Wait, All That Work for Nothing?

The only way to find out what type of person you are, who you are is to do the things that you want to do.

So look at your list of accomplishments of 2022, look at the tangible goals that you have for 2023, and ask yourself…do these accomplishments define me? Or the future me? Are these things that help to get me closer to the type of person I want to be? Do I actually ENJOY doing these things?

You’ll have a gut check on how you feel. Even if you don’t know exactly what that is, you have some semblance, even if it’s tucked deep into the recesses of your jaded, sarcastic and blackened New York City heart.

And if you really have no idea, take one of the things that you’ve always wanted to do.

A little one – schedule at least an hour a week to yourself every week to try it. Whether it’s learning to cook, write a script, or become a Tik Tok star. Even if no one wants to go with you, do it. Now commit to doing THAT one thing.

I’ll be real with you, by the end of this day, you still might have no idea what your goal is. You may not be able to accomplish ALL your goals, but the biggest thing you’ve done after this is FOCUS on yourself.

In three months’ time, you’ll be a hell of a lot further along than before if you just keep making time for all those little goals.

So there you go. Now go outside.