Taly Matiteyahu, 33, is the founder of Blink Date, New York City’s solution to swiping incessantly on dating apps. The lawyer turned entrepreneur is on a mission to return the dating world to its humble roots, one phone call at a time.
“On average, it takes 600 swipes before you go on a date”, Taly tells me.
As I do the mental math, the numbers slowly begin to make sense. A quick google search on the terms “dating in New York City” pulls up articles like “8 Reasons Why Dating in NYC is Terrible”.
Then there’s the plethora of New York City dating folklore. Who could forget the unhinged stories, from “West Elm Caleb” to “The Tinder Swindler” and of course, the OG, “The Hipster Grifter”? Ask around to any of your friends, and you’d be sure to find a story of swiping for hours, awkward dates, tumultuous flings, and, of course, the perennial act of deleting and reinstalling dating apps.
Alas, it’s not to say everyone in NYC is horrible, but I think we can all agree that modern-day dating is certainly flawed, and lawyer-turned-founder Taly Matiteyahu is on a mission to fix that.
Blink is a new swipe-free dating app that allows daters to chat with a potential partner for ten minutes before they ever see a picture of them.
Launched out of NYC, the app already has a podcast, in-person events, and a 30% match rate. Inspired by a stint at a blackout restaurant where she ate in total darkness with strangers, Taly realized how freeing an experience it was to talk and meet without preconceived notions.
“We make judgments all the time based on everything from outfits to tattoos to height, and it’s just a shame because oftentimes people just aren’t necessarily what you think they are based on appearances.”
Today, Blink Date allows you to remove the nuisances of the modern NYC dating scene, like *ahem* ghosting and the never-ending doom texting…
The app sets you up for a ten-minute blind phone call with someone they think you’ll have a spark with using filters like age, sexuality, proximity/ location, religion, and family plans. Once you match, you have an in-app phone date, no swiping necessary!
We were able to listen in on a few of these first dates, which wound up being a lot more adorable than expected. One such example included a sound designer (for Lizzo!!!), and a tech engineer turned guitarist by night, discovering their shared love for music and cats within minutes. As the conversation progressed, you could hear the awkwardness melt with each joke, and excitement grow with each shared interest.
“We’ve had online dating for years, and its changed what dating looks like and made it superficial. It’s built like a slot machine, and it makes you think ‘bigger, better, next’.”
The app flips the traditional mindset of modern-day dating on its head, and instead of choosing a partner based on their love for The Office, tacos, or sarcasm, you skip right to the good part and chat to see if you vibe.
Being able to hear the nuances of someone’s jokes or to hear them speak about their interests adds texture and context, avoiding the group chat analysis of the actual meaning of someone’s text.
The gamification of our dating lives affects our mental health. Like all social media apps that give us that micro dopamine high, so are these swiping apps. Swipe, and you’ll be rewarded by connecting to a probable suitor and then proceed to doom text for the next 3+ months.
Raise your hand if you still get that random “hey” from someone you matched with a year ago.
With Blink Date, Taly hopes that dating can be more intentional, with people getting to know each other for their shared values.
“If you ask a room of people who are together why they are together – they’ll never say it’s because their partner is over 6 feet tall, or their butt or a job. They’ll say they feel heard, recognized, or seen. Those aren’t the things we focus on in a dating app. You can’t distill that in a profile”.
Perhaps the solution to modern-day dating is to start internally, with ourselves, “How do I want to feel in a relationship, and how would I make a partner feel”?
While dating starts with initial attraction, some of the green flags on our checklist should be:
- Do we share the same values?
- Do they have self-awareness?
- Are they accountable to themselves and the world around them?
- Do they ask questions about you?
- Are they kind?
Of course, these may not be all things that you can gather from an initial 10 minute conversation, but you’ll be able to tell very quickly if you don’t vibe.
When asked about launching Blink, Taly shared “just as there’s never a good time to switch careers or have a baby, there’s never a good time to start a startup – you just need to take the leap. There’s beauty in trying and too much stigma in failure – take the leap and trust that it will work out the way that it should.”
